FWIW – a literary site

Jason

pet peeve: The creepily subservient, alienating, and unhelpful ways in which large companies (banks, utilities, credit card, tech companies, etc) require their customer service people to speak. They sound like automatons, w/o intuitive conversational sense or rapport, forced to ask inane questions and make inane statements no one ever responds to affirmatively. At the very end of the conversation, after every issue has (or, more often, has not) been addressed, always: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?” – ‘No, clearly not’ – “Okay, sir. Thank you for your time today, sir. Motorcola and the Motorcola family has been serving the community for years and is proud of your continued patronage.” – Would anyone speak like this in person? – As Jerry Seinfeld would say: “Who are these people?”

Ben

I figured it out: you’re Andy Rooney and Larry David’s love child.

Jason

You just figured it out today? It’s common knowledge.

Larry and Andy were deeply in love. It was the height of the roaring sixties. Leicester Sqaure. The MODS. The Beatles had just returned from Sri Lanka. It was love at fourth sight. But it wasn’t meant to be. Not the right time; not their time. Strangers in the night… I knew I would get flak for that one

Jason

I just misspelled “square”

Michelle

there’s something missing from this story… andy kaufman as gestational carrier maybe

Jason

I’ve heard strange rumors about Andy Kaufman. Strange forebodings, and whispers in the night. But I’ve never myself seen the man.

Jason

Next on ’60 Minutes’!

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