Michelle

deleting pages from my dissertation causes me acute physical pain

 

Shawn [a nurse]

I can manage that.

 

Michelle

propofol, or a little dilaudid?

 

Jason

That’s terrible. I feel for you. Those cretins don’t understand that those pages are essential to the purpose (now I think I just may be projecting)…. Maybe, afterwards, you can put out a “Dissertation: Director’s Cut,” including all the deleted pages— and an appendix of zany bloopers.

 

Michelle

Pages and pages of well-researched yet unnecessary historical context for a minor point: HILARIOUS BLOOPER.

 

 

ii.

 

Jason

‎”My body thinks I’m a bear. I think I’m a bear. You think I’m a bear. So why am I not a bear?!”

–Sasha

 

Katya

why would she not be bear?

 

Jason

I don’t know. You’d have to ask her. I think she’s a bear.

 

 

iii.

 

Jason

The Scorpions canceled their Minsk show

 

Matthew

I refuse to believe this.

 

Jason

I know, I know. It’s almost— unbelievable.

 

Barry

A new Day the Music Died

 

Jason

Soy tan sexy que mi amor

 

Barry

This is true.

 

Jason

soy mucho para Milán, mucho para Milán, New York y Japón

 

Kat

Hey, don’t you guys rag on The Scorpions! I love them!

 

 

iv.

 

Kat

‎”No mud, no lotus” –Thich Nhat Hahn

Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Forward Bend)

 

Jason

“No woman, no cry” –Bob Marley

 

 

v.

 

Jason

‎”Russians are capable of bringing the notion of ‘jutkact’ (kitsch/ gaudiness/ tackiness) to a whole

other level. The level you never thought was possible.” –Sasha

 

Steven

woah.

 

Jason

indeed

 

Matthew

I think I sprained my tongue trying to say “jutkact”

 

Jason

It’s pronounced ‘zhoot-kuhst’… anyway, you sprain your tongue every month doing something or other

 

Margot

I’ve been searching for the name of this ever since my first trip to Israel…

 

Jason

That’s what a Russian would call it… ‘POSH-luhst’ would be translated as ‘kitsch,’ and ‘JHOOT-kuhst’ as the kind of absurd kitsch-gaudiness-tackiness seen in the video… Unfortunately, it’s difficult to approximate the right pronunciation…

 

Margot

My Russian/Ukranian colleague Dima who sits next to me says you’re wrong, and that jutkact means ‘liquid’. Bentsman are you trying to pull one on us?

 

Jason

He’s thinking of ‘ZHEET-kast’— which means liquid. ‘ZHEET-kaya’ means liquidy… ‘ZHOOT-kast’ (noun) comes from ‘ZHOOT-kaya’ (adj)— which means basically what I said: extreme kitsch/ tackiness/ gaudiness. Have him check a good Russian dictionary if he doesn’t believe it. (Again, the confusion here is trying to transliterate the Russian sounds in English letters.)

 

Barry

I’m still waiting to see evidence of a Russian capacity for kitsch/gaudy/tacky exceeding the American.





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