i.
Jason: [status] Thinks facebook is jumping the shark
Michelle: Or . . . maybe the shark is jumping facebook?
Jason: You make a very good point. Never thought of it that way. All this time it was staring me right in the face. To think! Four years of research down the drain. Only the little-minded are scared of the obvious. I’ve been fooling myself. Don’t have the mettle I once thought. A two-bit hack, at best, an armchair philosopher. You’ve disabused me of this 800 pound elephant under the cocktail cabinet. I’m beside myself. There, I’m drinking a bitter and sweet cocktail of my own joy and grief. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Michelle: I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I recommend a good year or two of marine biology work so you don’t make the same sort of mistake again.
Jason: [status] realizes that perhaps the shark is jumping facebook (!?)
ii.
Michelle: [status] Has a new appreciation for the saying ‘let sleeping dogs lie.’
Jason: I’ve found newly-awoken dogs the most wonderful companions. We really do seem to have a fundamentally opposing philosophical worldview. But, in this case, I firmly believe I’m right. I recall the famous ten year correspondence between Kierkegaard and Heidegger— all the more amazing because Heidegger was born thirty-some years after Kierkegaard’s death— on the nature of pickled herring, in which Kierkegaard clearly emerged the victor… By the way, I have enrolled in marine biology classes at John Hopkins with the young Cousteau. We shall see about this shark.
Michelle: The Harvard chemists might concede your point, but the physicists would surely protest. The herring would be a particular bone of contention. While the Heidegger/Kierkegaard correspondence is relevant, it fails to settle the matter since it does not specifically address the issue of the sleeping dog. Nonetheless, I’m intrigued and will look into this further. I have the feeling that you may be on to something. You may also want to discuss the matter with Cousteau to discover his opinion, which is surely more expert than my own.
Michelle: [status] Is jumping facebook.
iii.
[Status] Jason took the “IQ test” quiz and the result is: Very Good!!
Michelle: Was the IQ test performed by a phrenologist?
Jason: I don’t know what that is.
November 19, 2009, WASHINGTON — Congress must move quickly to create a “safer, more stable financial system,” Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said Thursday, as lawmakers on both sides of Capitol Hill pressed forward with legislative efforts.
“To ensure the vitality, the strength and the stability of our economy going forward, we must bring our system of financial regulation into the— 26th century,” Mr. Geithner told a joint congressional committee.
“I’ve given this a lot of thought,” Geithner said. “And while it would be wonderful to bring our system into the 21st, or even 22nd century— why stop there? I mean, how great would it be if we could bring it into the 24th, or even 25th… Just imagine! Our financial system would be so ahead of the curve that we could all retire to Mexico and sit on the beach drinking light beers— like in that Corona commercial. I know we have the resources to do this!”
At once futuristic, philosophical, tragic, comic, and absurd… ‘So, I lost both my arms, and got these two experimental bionic ones. I’m excited to start driving again!’ Bad Idea Jeans
Bionic driver dies after crash – BBC
A man thought to be the first person to drive a car using a bionic arm dies after a road accident in Austria.
SEPTEMBER 23, 1999 — Archaeologists in China have found what is believed to be the oldest still-playable musical instrument: a 19,000-year-old flute carved from the wing bone of a crane. When scientists from the United States and China blew gently through the mottled brown instrument’s mouthpiece and fingered its holes, it fell apart irreparably. (Pictured below, 2nd from bottom)
“Yeah. That wasn’t a strong move on my part,” said Garman Harbottle, a nuclear scientist who specializes in radiocarbon dating at Brookhaven National Laboratory on New York’s Long Island. Harbottle and three Chinese archaeologists published their findings in today’s issue of the journal Nature.
Not Cookie!! . . . I’m incredulous.
Shrinking Condé Nast — NY Times
Condé Nast will close Gourmet magazine, a magazine of almost biblical status in the food world. Also being shut down are the Condé Nast magazines Cookie, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride. The moves are significant for the publisher.
A party.
Man 1. What do you do?
Man 2. I work at a café.
Man 1. But what do you really do?
Man 2. What do you mean?
Man 1. I mean, what is your thing? Are you an actor?
Man 2. No. I just work at a café.
Man 1. You mean— that’s all you do?
Man 2. Yes.
Man 1. And that’s all you want to do?
Man 2. Yes.
Man 1. Huh. [whispering to himself] Just work at a café… I see… Interesting… Just
work at a cafe. [pause] Hey everyone! Come here! You have to meet this guy. He
works at a cafe— and that’s all he wants to do.
Man 3. What do you mean?
Man 1. He says he’s happy “just working at a cafe.”
Man 3. Just working at a cafe? What else does he do?
Man 1. No, you see, that’s the thing. I asked him that already. He’s says he’s happy “just
working at a cafe.”
Woman 1. What are you guys talking about?
Man 3. This guy here, he says he works at a cafe— and that’s all he wants to do.
Woman 1. Philip, really.
Man 3. No. I’m serious.
Woman 1. Philip.
Man 3. No, really. Ask him yourself.
Woman 1. [To Man 2] Is that right? Is that all you want to do— just work at a cafe?
I spent twelve years in secret contemplation trying to breach the secrets of the Universe and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
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