Michelle
deleting pages from my dissertation causes me acute physical pain
Shawn [a nurse]
I can manage that.
Michelle
propofol, or a little dilaudid?
Jason
That’s terrible. I feel for you. Those cretins don’t understand that those pages are essential to the purpose (now I think I just may be projecting)…. Maybe, afterwards, you can put out a “Dissertation: Director’s Cut,” including all the deleted pages— and an appendix of zany bloopers.
Michelle
Pages and pages of well-researched yet unnecessary historical context for a minor point: HILARIOUS BLOOPER.
ii.
Jason
”My body thinks I’m a bear. I think I’m a bear. You think I’m a bear. So why am I not a bear?!”
–Sasha
Katya
why would she not be bear?
Jason
I don’t know. You’d have to ask her. I think she’s a bear.
iii.
Jason
The Scorpions canceled their Minsk show
Matthew
I refuse to believe this.
Jason
I know, I know. It’s almost— unbelievable.
Barry
A new Day the Music Died
Jason
Soy tan sexy que mi amor
Barry
This is true.
Jason
soy mucho para Milán, mucho para Milán, New York y Japón
Kat
Hey, don’t you guys rag on The Scorpions! I love them!
iv.
Kat
”No mud, no lotus” –Thich Nhat Hahn
Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Forward Bend)
Jason
“No woman, no cry” –Bob Marley
v.
Jason
”Russians are capable of bringing the notion of ‘jutkact’ (kitsch/ gaudiness/ tackiness) to a whole
other level. The level you never thought was possible.” –Sasha
Steven
woah.
Jason
indeed
Matthew
I think I sprained my tongue trying to say “jutkact”
Jason
It’s pronounced ‘zhoot-kuhst’… anyway, you sprain your tongue every month doing something or other
Margot
I’ve been searching for the name of this ever since my first trip to Israel…
Jason
That’s what a Russian would call it… ‘POSH-luhst’ would be translated as ‘kitsch,’ and ‘JHOOT-kuhst’ as the kind of absurd kitsch-gaudiness-tackiness seen in the video… Unfortunately, it’s difficult to approximate the right pronunciation…
Margot
My Russian/Ukranian colleague Dima who sits next to me says you’re wrong, and that jutkact means ‘liquid’. Bentsman are you trying to pull one on us?
Jason
He’s thinking of ‘ZHEET-kast’— which means liquid. ‘ZHEET-kaya’ means liquidy… ‘ZHOOT-kast’ (noun) comes from ‘ZHOOT-kaya’ (adj)— which means basically what I said: extreme kitsch/ tackiness/ gaudiness. Have him check a good Russian dictionary if he doesn’t believe it. (Again, the confusion here is trying to transliterate the Russian sounds in English letters.)
Barry
I’m still waiting to see evidence of a Russian capacity for kitsch/gaudy/tacky exceeding the American.
Jason
pet peeve: The creepily subservient, alienating, and unhelpful ways in which large companies (banks, utilities, credit card, tech companies, etc) require their customer service people to speak. They sound like automatons, w/o intuitive conversational sense or rapport, forced to ask inane questions and make inane statements no one ever responds to affirmatively. At the very end of the conversation, after every issue has (or, more often, has not) been addressed, always: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?” – ‘No, clearly not’ – “Okay, sir. Thank you for your time today, sir. Motorcola and the Motorcola family has been serving the community for years and is proud of your continued patronage.” – Would anyone speak like this in person? – As Jerry Seinfeld would say: “Who are these people?”
Ben
I figured it out: you’re Andy Rooney and Larry David’s love child.
Jason
You just figured it out today? It’s common knowledge.
Larry and Andy were deeply in love. It was the height of the roaring sixties. Leicester Sqaure. The MODS. The Beatles had just returned from Sri Lanka. It was love at fourth sight. But it wasn’t meant to be. Not the right time; not their time. Strangers in the night… I knew I would get flak for that one
Jason
I just misspelled “square”
Michelle
there’s something missing from this story… andy kaufman as gestational carrier maybe
Jason
I’ve heard strange rumors about Andy Kaufman. Strange forebodings, and whispers in the night. But I’ve never myself seen the man.
Jason
Next on ’60 Minutes’!
‘Sick Prank’ Leaves Cat Dyed Pink – BBC News
The owner of a cat which has had its fur dyed pink and was then thrown over a garden fence in Swindon is being sought by the RSPCA.
U.S. Economy Grinds To Halt As Nation Realizes Money
Just A Symbolic, Mutually Shared Illusion – The Onion
WASHINGTON — The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.
The 10 weirdest physics facts from relativity to quantum physics – Telegraph UK 
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