via Facebook
—[post] Onion article:
“Trump Unable To Produce Certificate Proving He’s Not A Festering Pile Of Shit”
—There needs to be a celebrity fundraiser to deport Donald Trump to Karachi. Pop stars can record a hit single (sung to the tune of We Are the World): “Deport Donald Trump… deport him to Karachi…”
—Or at least someone needs to order an injunction to keep a muzzle on him in public
—Since he seems to have a ubiquitous media monitoring network that tells him in real-time whenever anyone says or even thinks anything about him, I expect a highly biased and vitriolic response to these comments within the next five minutes
—”Donald Trump slams back at anonymous user’s Facebook posts”
“Looking at photos of peoples’ vacations used to be considered a punishment.”
–Betty White, in reference to Facebook
Michelle
deleting pages from my dissertation causes me acute physical pain
Shawn [a nurse]
I can manage that.
Michelle
propofol, or a little dilaudid?
Jason
That’s terrible. I feel for you. Those cretins don’t understand that those pages are essential to the purpose (now I think I just may be projecting)…. Maybe, afterwards, you can put out a “Dissertation: Director’s Cut,” including all the deleted pages— and an appendix of zany bloopers.
Michelle
Pages and pages of well-researched yet unnecessary historical context for a minor point: HILARIOUS BLOOPER.
ii.
Jason
”My body thinks I’m a bear. I think I’m a bear. You think I’m a bear. So why am I not a bear?!”
–Sasha
Katya
why would she not be bear?
Jason
I don’t know. You’d have to ask her. I think she’s a bear.
iii.
Jason
The Scorpions canceled their Minsk show
Matthew
I refuse to believe this.
Jason
I know, I know. It’s almost— unbelievable.
Barry
A new Day the Music Died
Jason
Soy tan sexy que mi amor
Barry
This is true.
Jason
soy mucho para Milán, mucho para Milán, New York y Japón
Kat
Hey, don’t you guys rag on The Scorpions! I love them!
iv.
Kat
”No mud, no lotus” –Thich Nhat Hahn
Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Forward Bend)
Jason
“No woman, no cry” –Bob Marley
v.
Jason
”Russians are capable of bringing the notion of ‘jutkact’ (kitsch/ gaudiness/ tackiness) to a whole
other level. The level you never thought was possible.” –Sasha
Steven
woah.
Jason
indeed
Matthew
I think I sprained my tongue trying to say “jutkact”
Jason
It’s pronounced ‘zhoot-kuhst’… anyway, you sprain your tongue every month doing something or other
Margot
I’ve been searching for the name of this ever since my first trip to Israel…
Jason
That’s what a Russian would call it… ‘POSH-luhst’ would be translated as ‘kitsch,’ and ‘JHOOT-kuhst’ as the kind of absurd kitsch-gaudiness-tackiness seen in the video… Unfortunately, it’s difficult to approximate the right pronunciation…
Margot
My Russian/Ukranian colleague Dima who sits next to me says you’re wrong, and that jutkact means ‘liquid’. Bentsman are you trying to pull one on us?
Jason
He’s thinking of ‘ZHEET-kast’— which means liquid. ‘ZHEET-kaya’ means liquidy… ‘ZHOOT-kast’ (noun) comes from ‘ZHOOT-kaya’ (adj)— which means basically what I said: extreme kitsch/ tackiness/ gaudiness. Have him check a good Russian dictionary if he doesn’t believe it. (Again, the confusion here is trying to transliterate the Russian sounds in English letters.)
Barry
I’m still waiting to see evidence of a Russian capacity for kitsch/gaudy/tacky exceeding the American.
i.
Jason
is looking for some wall-to-wall action
Steven
’balls to the wall’
Jason
Thanks. That hits the spot.
Same time, same place next week.
ii.
Jason
smells autumn on the wind
Barry
Ahhh! Shut up, shut up!
Jason
Autumn! Autumn I say!… What’s that?… Autumn!
iii.
Kat
Officially going to India in March. Flight to Delhi: booked! Suggestions and advice welcome!
Jason
Stow me away in your suitcase?… I don’t weigh much, and can live off saltine crackers for weeks at a time.
iv.
Ben
My dog likes the white powder.
Jason
a little bit of snow for the dog… steel ice… nose candy… stardust… white lady… white horse… happy dust… why not
v.
L. [message]
Flew into Baltimore last night, at my parents house. I keep thinking of poe’s house of usher. My family seems pervaded by a sense of inexorable Decline.
Jason [message]
Haven’t read that one. Poe is a hoe, and all that. You know, the old Crimson days. Freebasing on the 40 yard line. Giving the kicks to old caretaker Willy. The Lunarium ball. Those were the times. Still haven’t gotten around to Poe. But I hear his mother writes excellent Slam poetry.
i.
Jason: [status] Thinks facebook is jumping the shark
Michelle: Or . . . maybe the shark is jumping facebook?
Jason: You make a very good point. Never thought of it that way. All this time it was staring me right in the face. To think! Four years of research down the drain. Only the little-minded are scared of the obvious. I’ve been fooling myself. Don’t have the mettle I once thought. A two-bit hack, at best, an armchair philosopher. You’ve disabused me of this 800 pound elephant under the cocktail cabinet. I’m beside myself. There, I’m drinking a bitter and sweet cocktail of my own joy and grief. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Michelle: I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I recommend a good year or two of marine biology work so you don’t make the same sort of mistake again.
Jason: [status] realizes that perhaps the shark is jumping facebook (!?)
ii.
Michelle: [status] Has a new appreciation for the saying ‘let sleeping dogs lie.’
Jason: I’ve found newly-awoken dogs the most wonderful companions. We really do seem to have a fundamentally opposing philosophical worldview. But, in this case, I firmly believe I’m right. I recall the famous ten year correspondence between Kierkegaard and Heidegger— all the more amazing because Heidegger was born thirty-some years after Kierkegaard’s death— on the nature of pickled herring, in which Kierkegaard clearly emerged the victor… By the way, I have enrolled in marine biology classes at John Hopkins with the young Cousteau. We shall see about this shark.
Michelle: The Harvard chemists might concede your point, but the physicists would surely protest. The herring would be a particular bone of contention. While the Heidegger/Kierkegaard correspondence is relevant, it fails to settle the matter since it does not specifically address the issue of the sleeping dog. Nonetheless, I’m intrigued and will look into this further. I have the feeling that you may be on to something. You may also want to discuss the matter with Cousteau to discover his opinion, which is surely more expert than my own.
Michelle: [status] Is jumping facebook.
iii.
[Status] Jason took the “IQ test” quiz and the result is: Very Good!!
Michelle: Was the IQ test performed by a phrenologist?
Jason: I don’t know what that is.
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