November 19, 2009, WASHINGTON — Congress must move quickly to create a “safer, more stable financial system,” Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said Thursday, as lawmakers on both sides of Capitol Hill pressed forward with legislative efforts.
“To ensure the vitality, the strength and the stability of our economy going forward, we must bring our system of financial regulation into the— 26th century,” Mr. Geithner told a joint congressional committee.
“I’ve given this a lot of thought,” Geithner said. “And while it would be wonderful to bring our system into the 21st, or even 22nd century— why stop there? I mean, how great would it be if we could bring it into the 24th, or even 25th… Just imagine! Our financial system would be so ahead of the curve that we could all retire to Mexico and sit on the beach drinking light beers— like in that Corona commercial. I know we have the resources to do this!”
At once futuristic, philosophical, tragic, comic, and absurd… ‘So, I lost both my arms, and got these two experimental bionic ones. I’m excited to start driving again!’ Bad Idea Jeans
Bionic driver dies after crash – BBC
A man thought to be the first person to drive a car using a bionic arm dies after a road accident in Austria.
SEPTEMBER 23, 1999 — Archaeologists in China have found what is believed to be the oldest still-playable musical instrument: a 19,000-year-old flute carved from the wing bone of a crane. When scientists from the United States and China blew gently through the mottled brown instrument’s mouthpiece and fingered its holes, it fell apart irreparably. (Pictured below, 2nd from bottom)
“Yeah. That wasn’t a strong move on my part,” said Garman Harbottle, a nuclear scientist who specializes in radiocarbon dating at Brookhaven National Laboratory on New York’s Long Island. Harbottle and three Chinese archaeologists published their findings in today’s issue of the journal Nature.
Not Cookie!! . . . I’m incredulous.
Shrinking Condé Nast — NY Times
Condé Nast will close Gourmet magazine, a magazine of almost biblical status in the food world. Also being shut down are the Condé Nast magazines Cookie, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride. The moves are significant for the publisher.
A party.
Man 1. What do you do?
Man 2. I work at a café.
Man 1. But what do you really do?
Man 2. What do you mean?
Man 1. I mean, what is your thing? Are you an actor?
Man 2. No. I just work at a café.
Man 1. You mean— that’s all you do?
Man 2. Yes.
Man 1. And that’s all you want to do?
Man 2. Yes.
Man 1. Huh. [whispering to himself] Just work at a café… I see… Interesting… Just
work at a cafe. [pause] Hey everyone! Come here! You have to meet this guy. He
works at a cafe— and that’s all he wants to do.
Man 3. What do you mean?
Man 1. He says he’s happy “just working at a cafe.”
Man 3. Just working at a cafe? What else does he do?
Man 1. No, you see, that’s the thing. I asked him that already. He’s says he’s happy “just
working at a cafe.”
Woman 1. What are you guys talking about?
Man 3. This guy here, he says he works at a cafe— and that’s all he wants to do.
Woman 1. Philip, really.
Man 3. No. I’m serious.
Woman 1. Philip.
Man 3. No, really. Ask him yourself.
Woman 1. [To Man 2] Is that right? Is that all you want to do— just work at a cafe?
I spent twelve years in secret contemplation trying to breach the secrets of the Universe and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
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