The literary site of Jason Bentsman & Co. Entertainment, illumination, edification
At once futuristic, philosophical, tragic, comic, and absurd… ‘So, I lost both my arms, and got these two experimental bionic ones. I’m excited to start driving again!’ Bad Idea Jeans
Bionic driver dies after crash – BBC
A man thought to be the first person to drive a car using a bionic arm dies after a road accident in Austria.
Not Cookie!! . . . I’m incredulous.
Shrinking Condé Nast — NY Times
Condé Nast will close Gourmet magazine, a magazine of almost biblical status in the food world. Also being shut down are the Condé Nast magazines Cookie, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride. The moves are significant for the publisher.
As a writer, I tend to read a lot. The following is a list of my all-time favorite books,
in no particular order:
An Inquiry Into the Origin of Hens – Lao Tse
When the War Was Good – E. Hemingway
Hypochondriacs Live Longer – David Sedaris
Finnegan’s Wake and Bake – James Jones
Rich and Strange: The Biography of Howard Hughes – Anonymous
The Candy Licker – Schler Muhammed Rasool
The Candy Licker’s Daughter – Schler Muhammed Rasool
The Candy Licker’s Time Traveling Wife – Schler Muhammed Rasool
The Candy Licker’s Da Vinci Code… ‘In Bed’ – Schler Muhammed Rasool
Turning the Mind into an Alley – L. Rinpoche
Flaunt Your Buddhism, Girl!: A Girl’s Guide to Being a Single Buddhist in the Big City –
SJ Parker
Sexual Aberrations of the Criminal Female – Marnie Connery, Ph.D
Iraq: What the Hell is Happening? – Cornell West
Iraq: What the Hell Happened? – Cornell West
My Caucasian – Andre Dubus III
Nothing’s Illuminated, Bitch – Harold Bloom
The Fifty Best of Everything Ever and Why: From Aardvark to Dyspepsia – Harold Bloom
Priapism Among the Haystacks – TS Lawrence
The Complete Geological Surveys of Andrei Tarkovsky 1952 –58 (Schocken Classics Series)
How Much Protein Does a Man Need? – Leo Tolstoy
How Not to Look Fat – Danica Lo
Who’s Your Fishmonger? – Niles Crane
Little Dieter Don’t Diet – Gunter Grass
Billary Slams Obamanation on the Obanomy & Other Flip–flops – JT Plouffe
You CAN Take It With You: I Took My Money Beyond the Grave and So Can You – Trask Carnegie
My Itamae: A Story of A Boy & His Imaginary Sushi Chef – Ozu Murakami
My Life As Art – Andy Warhol
My Life As Art – Art Garfunkel
My Life in Art – Paul Simon
Good at Life: The Story of Barack Obama – Charlie Kaufmann
Indestructible Teeth: The Living Spirituality of Orthodontist Richard Shenkman –
Richard Shenkman, DMD
The Auras of Seals – JZ Coetzee
Cheese is the New Meat – Baron von Vanderkrass
“Hi baby girl. You are a precious treasure!” – Sunflower Concepcion
Electric Renaissance (In My Pants) – Medici Da Vinci
The Land Surveys of Henry David Thoreau 1851 –62 (Unabridged version, 2400 pp): Schocken Classics Series
Reading the Script: the Collected Prescriptions of William Carlos Williams, Organized by Drug Name (Schlocken Klassics, 4500 pp) – Professor Philip Windfcuker [submitted by M. Shadwell]
Suffocation – Knut Hamsun
The Hills of Tora Bora – Ernest Hemingway
Deep Shit: Philosophy and the Art of Sanitation – Charles Friedrich Pirsig
War and the Metamorphosis of the Idiot – Franz Tolstoevsky
The Tough Tears Series: Cry Tough, Sob Tough, Weep Tough, Wail Tough
For Colored Girls/ When they go over the rainbow/ and get the blues – by Yolo (author of The Vagina Decalogues, House of Freedom, & O Cry, O Solitude!)
For Colored Girls/ When the Rainbow is More than Enuff/ But they Can’t Figure Out How to eat Flan – Yolo
The Bedbugs of Shannara – Terrence Gilliam
The Uneditable – Samuel Beckett
The Coconut Shuckers – Jeb Steinbeck
The 101 Best Recipes For Preparing Bedbugs – Shel Rombauer & Bob Dylan (aka, Jack Frost)
Krapp’s First Tape – Samuel Beckett
Cooking Without Looking: Harnessing the Power of the Force to Prepare the Finest Culinary Delights – Leia Childs
The Best American Poetry of 2011 (or, Some of the Worst Poetry of All Time) – eds. Philip Windfcuker & Rebecca Socialclimer
No Entrance: Race Relations in 1960s Mississippi – John Paul Sartre
The Analytics – Google
Man’s Search for Herring – Wheelis Frankl
America’s 50 Best States – Roscoe Wilderness
Chinchillas in the Mist – Everett Goodall
History— Whose Fault Is It? (Yahweh Press) – Jason Bentsman
The Collected Texts, SMS Messages, and Tweets of Alexander Pushkin
French Grammar The Hard Way – Language Learning for Sadomasochists Series (Boot to the Groin Press)
Are Snakes Necessary? – Bismark von Preminger
That Side of Paradise – Francis Fitzcarraldo
Love in the Time of BLAH – Gabrielle Garcia Copeland
The Wisdom of the East (of Harlem) – Flyguy Slade
The Divided MILF – JT Lancaster, Sex Therapist
Humid, All Too Humid – Allen Nietzsche
The James Brown Bible (JBB) (Def Jam Publishing)
The definitive translation of the Christian Bible as told by the Godfather of Soul
Treating Feline Psychogenic Alopecia (FPA) – Sheldon Alverschwartz, PCP
The Complete Dungeons & Dragons Compendium To Spirituality – Ken Wilber
Healing at the Edge of Calm – Himhart Holibrook
No Alain Delon: The Life of Jason Bentsman (Scribners)
Biography explaining how I’m inferior to Alain Delon in virtually every way. (IE: ‘JB was born in Minsk, Belarus. Of course, at that time, and still today, Minsk is a backwater compared to Lyon, the vibrant, bustling, and cultural mecca that gave birth to Alain Delon— thespian, artist, philosopher, lover, humanitarian extraordinaire.’)
When To Start Twerking: A Primer – Milarepa Cyrus
Dealing With Excitable Pigs – Grandor Amberson
The Way of All Floozies – Depardieu Butler
What Plants Talk About When They Talk About Running – Flystrap Harukami
The Way We Are: Poems April 3, 2003 – April 4, 2003 (3rd Edition)
Meditation for Sleazy People – Guruji Michael Powers
Life With Limits: How To Be Given Every Advantage and Still Fail Miserably – Charles Cameron Baliol, Esq.
Nietzsche’s Mustache: An Autobiography – Nietzsche’s Mustache
Mariposa: The Pink Butterfly (Take Me To Paradise) – Anonymous
Parks Without Bathrooms – Hemingway Chaplin
On Becoming A Pervert – Carl Dodgers
The 4 Agreements To The 8 Secrets To The 12 Easy Steps To The Art Of Becoming Enlightened, Rich, Free Of Suffering, and Not Giving A Fuck: And So Can You! – Wendigo Weimaraner
Before The Law, But After Breakfast Please! – Franzy Sans
The Pain, the Slog, and the Boredom: Five Decades at the Gym – William Faulkner
Success Magic – The Prosperity Secret to Win with Magical Spiritual Power: How to Grow Rich, Influence People, Protect Your Mindset & Love Yourself Like a Warrior using Timeless Abundance Secrets — George Wentz & Magus Incognito [this is an actual book]
Pilot Scenario Analysis Exercise on Climate Related Risks Based on Common Scenarios – Valeksandra Artelskaya
The suprachiasmatic nucleus drives day-night variations in postprandial triglyceride uptake into skeletal muscle and brown adipose tissue – Plato
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And here are some of my favorite movies…
From the Producers of Girls Gone Wild: Food Gone Bad
Flipper & Lassie: Tag-team Madness
Harold and Kumar No More Go A Roving
Diarrhea of a Country Priest – Robert Bresson
The Troi Colors Trilogy – Kieslowski Kandinsky
I Am Bi-curious, Yellow
I Am Horny, Rouge
I Am Very Hungover, Don’t Talk To Me, Puce
Children of the Opposite Sex – Marcel Ophuls
Days of Indigestion – Kar Wong Wei
Chinchillas in the Mist (documentary based on the bestselling book by Everett Goodall)
Last Tango in Boise, Idaho – Wayne Berlescucci
The Leaves Have Ears – Fairbanks Sirk
Whose Pants Are These? (documentary) – Errol Apted
The Red Fire Hydrant (documentary) – Errol Apted
Leonard Cohen: The Non–existent Years
Documentary chronicling the life of Leonard Cohen from the late Middle Ages through the early Renaissance in Western Europe
Deuce Bigalow: Ontological Gigolo
Stalker Nostalgia – Andrey Jerkovsky
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And, for good measure, several of my very favorite songs…
Don’t Bogart the Pussy – Tone-Déf
I Want to Put My Penis Inside Your Vagina, Woman – Martin Ricky
Wholesome Romance – Lady GooGoo
You Look Just Like My Anima, Baby – Young Adler
I Kissed My Grandma (And I Liked It) – aka, Taste of Geriatric – Katy Perry
Slather It – the new hit single from Devo
Anal Surprise – Miles Davis
My Fin-De-Siècle Mama – Buddy Robespierre
Menstruation Vacation – Kraftwerk
In A Horizontal Way – Davis Coltrane
You Gotta Smoke Somethin’ – Bob Dyland
The Best of the Best of the Best of Berlin (aka, Take My Breath Away / Metro)
I Shat My Pants (And I Liked It) – Katy Perry
Shat My Pants Again – Katy Perry
Shat – Rent Treznor
Carefully Planned And Executed Whisper – Michael George
Bust A Third Movement – Yo Yo Yo Ma
I spent twelve years in secret contemplation trying to breach the secrets of the Universe and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
Today I had the most insightful conversation I’ve had in the last month, and it was with a four year old (uncle’s son). Children at this age are just old enough to know enough words to express themselves adequately, but not to become brainwashed by what passes for “common sense” and “wisdom.” They see a lot because they don’t know a lot.
He told me that numbers go on forever, but he can’t imagine ‘forever.’ And that his toy soldiers can’t imagine it either, because they’re not alive, which is why their feet have special grooves for being propped up by living people. Something to all of this. (“Only second-rate minds are afraid of the obvious.”) Research laboratories should employ young children to come up with observations and ideas.
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