As a writer, I tend to read a lot. The following is a list of my all-time favorite books,

in no particular order:

 

 

An Inquiry Into the Origin of Hens – Lao Tse

 

When the War Was Good – E. Hemingway

 

Hypochondriacs Live Longer – David Sedaris

 

Finnegan’s Wake and Bake – James Jones

 

Rich and Strange: The Biography of Howard Hughes – Anonymous

 

The Candy Licker – Schler Muhammed Rasool

 

The Candy Licker’s Daughter – Schler Muhammed Rasool

 

The Candy Licker’s Time Traveling Wife – Schler Muhammed Rasool

 

The Candy Licker’s Da Vinci Code… ‘In Bed’ – Schler Muhammed Rasool

 

Turning the Mind into an Alley – L. Rinpoche

 

Flaunt Your Buddhism, Girl!: A Girl’s Guide to Being a Single Buddhist in the Big City
SJ Parker

 

Sexual Aberrations of the Criminal Female – Marnie Connery, Ph.D

 

Iraq: What the Hell is Happening? – Cornell West

 

Iraq: What the Hell Happened? – Cornell West

 

My Caucasian – Andre Dubus III

 

Nothing’s Illuminated, Bitch – Harold Bloom

 

The Fifty Best of Everything Ever and Why: From Aardvark to Dyspepsia – Harold Bloom

 

Priapism Among the Haystacks – TS Lawrence

 

The Complete Geological Surveys of Andrei Tarkovsky 1952 –58 (Schocken Classics Series)

 

How Much Protein Does a Man Need? – Leo Tolstoy

 

How Not to Look Fat – Danica Lo

 

Who’s Your Fishmonger? – Niles Crane

 

Little Dieter Don’t Diet – Gunter Grass

 

Billary Slams Obamanation on the Obanomy & Other Flip–flops – JT Plouffe

 

You CAN Take It With You: I Took My Money Beyond the Grave and So Can You – Trask Carnegie

 

My Itamae: A Story of A Boy & His Imaginary Sushi Chef – Ozu Murakami

 

My Life As Art – Andy Warhol

 

My Life As Art – Art Garfunkel

 

My Life in Art – Paul Simon

 

Good at Life: The Story of Barack Obama – Charlie Kaufmann

 

Indestructible Teeth: The Living Spirituality of Orthodontist Richard Shenkman

Richard Shenkman, DMD

 

The Auras of Seals – JZ Coetzee

 

Cheese is the New Meat – Baron von Vanderkrass

 

“Hi baby girl. You are a precious treasure!” – Sunflower Concepcion

 

Electric Renaissance (In My Pants) – Medici Da Vinci

 

The Land Surveys of Henry David Thoreau 1851 –62 (Unabridged version, 2400 pp): Schocken Classics Series

 

Reading the Script: the Collected Prescriptions of William Carlos Williams, Organized by Drug Name (Schlocken Klassics, 4500 pp) – Professor Philip Windfcuker [submitted by M. Shadwell]

 

Suffocation – Knut Hamsun

 

The Hills of Tora Bora – Ernest Hemingway

 

Deep Shit: Philosophy and the Art of Sanitation – Charles Friedrich Pirsig

 

War and the Metamorphosis of the Idiot – Franz Tolstoevsky

 

The Tough Tears Series: Cry Tough, Sob Tough, Weep Tough, Wail Tough

 

For Colored Girls/ When they go over the rainbow/ and get the blues – by Cholo (author of The Vagina Decologues, House of Freedom, &  O Cry, O Solitude!)

 

For Colored Girls/ When the Rainbow is More than Enuff/ But they Can’t Figure Out How to eat Flan – Cholo

 

The Bedbugs of Shannara – Terrence Gilliam

 

The Uneditable – Samuel Beckett

 

The Coconut Shuckers – Jeb Steinbeck

 

The 101 Best Recipes For Preparing Bedbugs – Shel Rombauer & Bob Dylan (aka, Jack Frost) 

 

Krapp’s First Tape – Samuel Beckett

 

Cooking Without Looking: Harnessing the Power of the Force to Prepare the Finest Culinary Delights – Leia Childs

 

The Best American Poetry of 2011 (or, Some of the Worst Poetry of All Time) – eds. Philip Windfcuker & Rebecca Socialclimer

 

No Entrance: Race Relations in 1960s Mississippi – John Paul Sartre

 

The Analytics – Google

 

Man’s Search for Herring – Wheelis Frankl

 

America’s 50 Best States – Roscoe Wilderness

 

Chinchillas in the Mist – Everett Goodall

 

History— Whose Fault Is It? (Yahweh Press) – Jason Bentsman

 

The Collected Texts, SMS Messages, and Tweets of Alexander Pushkin  

 

French Grammar The Hard Way – Language Learning for Sadomasochists Series (Boot to the Groin Press)

 

Are Snakes Necessary? – Bismark von Preminger

 

That Side of Paradise – Francis Fitzcarraldo

 

Love in the Time of BLAH – Gabrielle Garcia Copeland

 

The Wisdom of the East (of Harlem) – Flyguy Slade

 

The Divided MILF – JT Lancaster, Sex Therapist

 

Humid, All Too Humid – Allen Nietzsche

 

The James Brown Bible (JBB) (Def Jam Publishing)
The definitive translation of the Christian Bible as told by the Godfather of Soul

 

Treating Feline Psychogenic Alopecia (FPA) – Sheldon Alverschwartz, PCP

 

The Complete Dungeons & Dragons Compendium To Spirituality – Ken Wilber

 

Healing at the Edge of Calm – Himhart Holibrook

 

No Alain Delon: The Life of Jason Bentsman (Scribners)
Biography explaining how I’m inferior to Alain Delon in virtually every way (IE: ‘JB was born in Minsk, belarus. Of course, at that time, and still today, Minsk is a backwater compared to Lyon, the vibrant, bustling, and cultural mecca that gave birth to Alain Delon— thespian, artist, philosopher, lover, humanitarian extraordinaire.’)

 

When To Start Twerking: A Primer – Milarepa Cyrus

 

Dealing With Excitable Pigs – Grandor Amberson

 

The Way of All Floozies – Depardieu Butler

 

What Plants Talk About When They Talk About Running – Flystrap Harukami

 

The Way We Are: Poems April 3, 2003 – April 4, 2003 (3rd Edition)

 

Meditation for Sleazy People – Guruji Michael Powers

 

Life With Limits: How To Be Given Every Advantage and Still Fail Miserably – Charles Cameron Baliol, Esq.

 

Nietzsche’s Mustache: An Autobiography – Nietzsche’s Mustache

 

Mariposa: The Pink Butterfly (Take Me To Paradise) – Anonymous

 

 

 

 

And here are some of my favorite movies…

 

From the Producers of Girls Gone Wild: Food Gone Bad

 

Flipper & Lassie: Tag-team Madness

 

Harold and Kumar No More Go A Roving

 

Diarrhea of a Country Priest – Robert Bresson

 

The Troi Colors Trilogy – Kieslowski Kandinsky

I Am Bi-curious, Yellow

I Am Horny, Rouge

I Am Very Hungover, Don’t Talk To Me, Puce

 

Children of the Opposite Sex – Marcel Ophuls

 

Days of Indigestion – Kar Wong Wei

 

Chinchillas in the Mist (documentary based on the bestselling book by Everett Goodall)

 

Last Tango in Boise, Idaho – Wayne Berlescucci

 

The Leaves Have Ears – Fairbanks Sirk

 

Whose Pants Are These? (documentary) – Errol Apted

 

The Red Fire Hydrant (documentary) – Errol Apted

 

Leonard Cohen: The Non–existent Years
Documentary chronicling the life of Leonard Cohen from the late Middle Ages through the early Renaissance in Western Europe

 

Deuce Bigalow: Ontological Gigolo

 

Stalker Nostalgia – Andrey Jerkovsky

 

 

 

And, for good measure, several of my very favorite songs…

 

Don’t Bogart the Pussy – Tone-Déf

 

I Want to Put My Penis Inside Your Vagina, Woman – Martin Ricky

 

Wholesome Romance – Lady GooGoo

 

You Look Just Like My Anima, Baby – Young Adler

 

I Kissed My Grandma (And I Liked It) – aka, Taste of Geriatric – Katy Perry

 

Slather It – the new hit single from Devo

 

Anal Surprise – Miles Davis

 

My Fin-De-Siècle Mama – Buddy Robespierre

 

Menstruation Vacation – Kraftwerk

 

In A Horizontal Way – Davis Coltrane

 

You Gotta Smoke Somethin’ – Bob Dyland

 

The Best of the Best of the Best of Berlin (aka, Take My Breath Away / Metro)

 

I Shat My Pants (And I Liked It) – Katy Perry

 

Shat My Pants Again – Katy Perry

 

Carefully Planned And Executed Whisper – Michael George 



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