For What It's Worth – a literary blog

Apparently, I hold the Northeast record for the longest held Netflix movie: 2.5 years.

A 3.5 hour “potent drama that follows 14-year-old Hungarian Jew Gyuri Koves. After the Nazis take him into custody, Gyuri is moved from one death camp to another, witnessing increasingly greater atrocities that erode his spirit. When the camp is liberated, Gyuri returns home a survivor, but his neighbors— who want to forget WWII’s horrors— go out of their way to avoid him.”

The runner-up is a certain John P. Shales of Danbury, NH, who has held onto “The Hottie and the Nottie” for 1 year and 3 months— and only because he passed away seven months ago.

Do you suffer from your terrible clarity?

Do you see far beyond the scope of the common man?

Are you haunted by prescient dreams and visions?

Now there’s Rizapan: the ‘Vision Quencher.’

Rizapan’s twelve patent-pending beta blockers calm the onset signs that can lead to nasty vision so that you can live normally.

“Before Rizapan, I would stay up ‘til all hours of the morning working on these long, pointless symphonies, and boy, was my health suffering. Now I can get a good night’s sleep, have a hearty breakfast, watch some TV, and still get a few games of golf in before noon! Thank you, Rizapan!” –L. Beethoven

“Before Rizapan, I was obsessed with making these weird, improportional drawings. I was living in some decrepit shack god-knows-where on the outskirts of France. Women were irrelevant to me, and I slowly alienated all my family and friends. Well, that’s all behind me now. I’ve been employed at the local car dealership for two years, and I’m happy to say, I’ve never felt better! Right honey? (And— we’re expecting our first child!) Thank you, Rizapan!” –V. Van Gogh

Never lose another day agonizing in deep thought or battling internal demons again.

Rizapan: The drug of choice for artists and visionaries everywhere.

Now in French Vanilla.