Disheveled bachelor looking for an elderly charwoman to tend to his small domicile. Must be widowed or a spinster, able to mend socks, light oil lamps, cook bone broth, kvetch, and offer unsolicited, myopic, religiously-tainted advice. Enthusiasts of Orthodox Russian iconography, quack folk remedies, and anachronism welcome. Will live in the basement. Payment is a pittance, to be received sporadically.