Do you suffer from your terrible clarity? 


Do you see far beyond the scope of the common man?


Are you haunted by prescient dreams and visions?


Now there’s Rizapan: the ‘Vision Quencher.’


Rizapan’s twelve patent-pending beta blockers calm the onset signs that lead to nasty vision so that you can live normally.


“Before Rizapan, I would stay up ‘til all hours of the morning working on these long, pointless symphonies, and boy, was my health suffering. Now I can get a good night’s sleep, have a hearty breakfast, watch some TV, and still get a few games of golf in before noon! Thank you, Rizapan!”

     — L. Beethoven


“Before Rizapan, I was obsessed with making these weird, improportional drawings. I was living in some decrepit shack god-knows-where on the outskirts of France. Women were irrelevant to me, and I slowly alienated all my family and friends. Well, that’s all behind me now. I’ve been employed at the local car dealership for two years, and I’m happy to say, I’ve never felt better! Right honey? (And— we’re expecting our first child!) Thank you, Rizapan!”

     — V. Van Gogh


Never lose another day agonizing in deep thought or battling internal demons again.


Rizapan: The drug of choice for artists and visionaries everywhere.


Now in French Vanilla.

To Occasionally See More Pieces Like This In Your FB Newsfeed  



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